felt

the goal, she thinks, is to feel. not
just feel, but
feel, yes, in italics. like that. so that whatever it is
to be felt
resonates. she knows this is against all the
published laws of life. life is best left unfelt,
because if she is willing to feel, if she succumbs to feeling, she is open to
all different types of
feelings, not just the good ones. the danger
is not only imperious, it is
daunting. it is so much easier to move in
a controlled manner, to stay moving, to keep
everything at a low drone. there is little danger
in that, of course,
until the final hour, when the look back must be honored,
at least for that moment when life flashes
across the eyes. she will be tempted, through the years, to renounce feeling.
her decision, when it is
time to decide,
will
resolve a life
or: a life
well
lived.