the untimely death of molly macbeth

Oh, the untimely death of Molly Macbeth.
Her passing at quarter to two.
If she’d stayed alive ‘til twenty of five.
Who knows how much more good she’d do.

She killed six of her husbands, all rakes, cheats and sops.
Not worth a plug nickel or two.
Made no bones, no excuse for her own one gal gang
Ridding earth of four devils plus two.

Killed a Henry, a Hudson, a Bill and Hank.
Killed a Steve and a Wenceslaus, too.
When she put them to wake for the public to mourn
Didn’t wail, didn’t weep, didn’t rue.

She got caught when she tried to wed two boys at once.
Seemed quite odd to the min’ster in town.
He asked her the plan, twas confu-sed, you see,
and she told him straight up and then down:

It’s been my life’s work to rid life of the jerks
Breeding mis’ry and gloom ‘fore they’re done.
I’m getting quite old, if truth would be told,
So I thought I’d get two more with one.

They put her in jail and set up the time
Rigged the chair, strapped her in, and she said:
Just promise me this, when you cover me up
That my headstone will always be read:

Oh, the untimely death of Molly Macbeth.
Her passing at quarter to two.
If she’d stayed alive ‘til twenty of five.
Who knows how much more good she’d do.