trapped

Her mind is a jumble.
Her days are blurs and her parents
don’t understand why. But the answer
is quite simple:
she doesn’t like herself.
So, she has no time for schooling.
She has no time for growing.
She has no time for anything, really.
All of her time is spent running after the girl
she thinks she’s supposed to be,
(whom she thinks she’s supposed to be)
(without considering why)
to get to her, to grab her and pull her on
like a dress she’d wear to a popular party for
the popular girls.
It’s a race she cannot win.
It’s a race she shouldn’t be running.
It’s a party where she’s not wanted.
Still, she runs.
Still, she goes.
But she does not cry.
At least not so anyone can see.
Her courage is daunting.
It’s not easy to live inside someone
who doesn’t love you.
Or who can’t.