not funny

I want to laugh, again.
Really laugh.
Just like that – boom:
Laugh.
Uncontrollably would be ok.
I laughed like that, once.
Or twice.
Maybe more, I don’t remember.
It was the kind of laugh,
they were,
that
grabbed your insides, took you
over.
A happy laugh,
really happy.
Because there
are other kinds of
laughs.
Polite ones,
social ones,
correct ones,
among the numerous.
I know. I laugh those
kinds, now.
They’re not
the
same.
Sadly.
Laughing,
as it were.
Is.