gertie mcnurt

Gertie McNurt was a crispy old soul
who always went shopping for friends,
she’d slow up the checkout to divvy the goods
for Clara and old Mrs. Bends.

‘til a voice this one day grumped out loud ‘n’ clear
that his time “was a’wastin’ an’ fast,”
And if ol’ lady Gert chose to shop for a crowd
she might start start out by kissin’ his ass.

To which she replied with a grizzled ol’ stare
“Sonny, boy, that’s an oddly request,
but from looks o’ what sits on th’ top o’ yo’ neck
it might be the choice that’s the best.”

That shut him up quick and silenced him fast,
Then Gertie took more of his time,
by fussing through old age and Medicare cards,
‘fore paying in nickels and dimes.

The moral’ve the story is simple and hard:
Respect for the elderly? No!
It’s: don’t get in line ‘hind Gerty McNurt
and her traveling shop-for-you show.

For Gertie McNurt was a wankish old soul
who shopped out for all of her gals,
then grid-locked the checkout to divvy the goods,
“Jesus Christ,” “m-----------,” et als.