faraway

I look through
The glass. It’s
A window
Into reality.
She smiles.
She laughs.
I watch.
And I suddenly
Feel so very
Far
Away.
From her.
It’s not the
Distance.
Or the
Separation.
For I will
See her,
She will be close,
upclose
In a few minutes. It’s the reality. If I were smart –
If smartness was
A thing, one thing,
Something
That regulated
Care
And affection
And, yes,
Love,
Then by
Intellect alone I would know what to do.
But I’m not
That smart –
Or don’t want
To be. Ever. Not just this
Time.
But at all. Because
There is something
True about
The heart. Not something safe. Never
Something sure.
But
True, yes.
So, I see the distance and I think
That even
Though it cannot
Be solved,
It is worth
The pain
And eventual
Loss and
Attendant grief. And I think: God, she is beautiful. And God
Answers:
In silence.