to have and to ... possess

He is most often
stunned by her beauty and
sometimes thinks of how
to describe
it and he feels failed, or, more directly,
a failure. Then he gets it:
it is
indescribable. But that seems to be a copout, too,
so he returns
to
trying, for a moment, anyway. The problem is
her essence, now and always, is ever colored by the past – her warmth,
her touch,
her kiss,
her softness,
her shiver and shudder,
her breath as she sleeps,
her eyes as she wakes,
her smile
as she focuses … on
him.
It makes him want not only to
hold her, but to
possess
her.
And he wonders if that
is
bad.